I’ve been on the citalopram for almost seven weeks now. My psychiatrist likes to give things eight weeks, which is fair enough, but I think this may be as good as it gets. Which leaves me with a bit of a dilemma.
I am not ‘right’. Things have improved, undoubtedly, and I’m managing to be back at work, but I don’t feel well. I’m incredibly low on energy. I work from bed in my pyjamas a lot. I’m struggling with housework (the wonderful Mental Political Parent has drawn a cartoon that’s a pretty accurate depiction of my bedroom and attire). I can just about keep my head above water when life is straightforward, but if any kind of problem or minor crisis hits I’m floundering. This is not sustainable in the long term.
I’m not sure whether this tiredness is still the depression, or if it’s a meds side effect, but in a way it doesn’t matter because I couldn’t tolerate 20 mg citalopram before. I don’t think increasing the dose is an option, especially when I’m also already on enough mirtazapine to knock out an elephant. My psychiatrist and I discussed coming off both meds and switching me to another antidepressant entirely, but I’m not seeing her until 12 September, possibly even later if my partner and I manage to book a holiday. Can I muddle on until then?
The alternative is to go to my GP and ask her to change my meds, but this is not without its drawbacks. I don’t think she’d be happy to just put me on a tricyclic behind my psychiatrist’s back. She’d probably want to ring my psychiatrist for advice on what to prescribe, which is absolutely reasonable, but then my psychiatrist is likely to say duloxetine and I don’t get to have the discussion about why I really don’t think that’s a good idea given my previous experiences on SNRIs.
I suppose I could just be a very awkward patient.